Japanese Woodblocks and Freedom, Sweet Freedom

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Did you know that Wikipedia features a "Picture of the Day" ?? Today's picture is "a detail from a Japanese woodblock print of Zhong Kui, a Chinese mythological figure traditionally regarded as vanquisher of ghosts and demons. His image is often painted on household gates as a guardian spirit, as well as in places of business where high-value goods are involved. According to folklore, Zhong Kui was a man who committed suicide after he was stripped of the title "zhuangyuan" (having achieved top honors in the imperial examinations) by the emperor of China because of his disfigured appearance, after which he became king of ghosts in Hell" (wikipedia.org).

There's your history lesson for the day...

In other news...if I could, I would strangle myself. No, not literally...geez...

But seriously, what is it about my self-control that empowers me to wake up Monday through Friday at 5:30 and get to the gym (as I have been for the last 4 weeks) to be working my BUTT off (quite literally, thank you) and yet caves when it comes to controlling what I eat?? Is that the most RIDICULOUS thing ever!!?? I feel like I can sympathize with Paul from the Bible. Check this out!! It's TOTALLY how I feel:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I deligt in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Romans 7:15-25 (under the heading Struggling With Sin, which is perfect)

Allow me to expose myself and paraphrase, as this verse is relevant to my life (the Bible is relevant and applicable today!!):

I do not understand myself (haha, no difference there!). I want to lose weight--30-ish pounds, to be inexact--but I do not discipline myself to do it; instead, I eat too much food, indluge myself unnecessarily, and effectively negate my hard morning's workout. My unhappiness because of this defeat within myself is proof that this is absolutely NOT the life God planned for me. But I am overcome by my sin nature, which is my desire and belief that I am entitled to have what I want, when I want it, immediately; to be a slave to temporary pleasure so petty "it tastes good" or "feed my hunger" urges consume me. There is NOTHING GOOD in this thinking because I have the DESIRE to lose this weight, but I cannot do it. I do not practice self-control, which is what I want to do, but don't. It is my sin nature that overcomes my own desire to be done with this battle; the person that I am created to be becomes lost in sin's ugly shadows.

So here is how the battle will go down: when I want to lose weight (practice self-control), evil will be RIGHT THERE WITH ME. In the quietest places of my heart, I delight myself in God's laws, which are filled with promises of love, life, and joy! But there are other laws at work within my body, that wage war on my MIND (lauging at my effort, reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed, telling me I'll never win) and these lies make me a prisoner of these habits. What a wretched woman I am (no change there either)! Who will rescue me from this body, from this endless circle I have run myself into, from the lies that so easily trip me up?

THANKS BE TO GOD--THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD! (There is definitely no change there).

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Disclaimer: I am absolutely, 100% NOT saying that eating food is bad, or that enjoying the pleasures of eating is bad (God MADE it to be a pleasure-FULL experience). BUT, when we are jeopardizing our health by eating too much leading to weight gain, we are no longer living the life God intended. When we go to bed DREAMING of all the ways in which we will lose weight; when we spend our waking hours IDOLIZING the figure we want to have and the attention we want to receive; when we truly come to believe that THIS will be our key to happiness...



THEN, we have a problem.



This, dear friends, is the broken ground on which you have found me. So I really do need your prayers and your support. May I place my desires for beauty on God's altar, that he may mold my character into who he created me to be. May I repent of my sin at the cross, where he died TO SET ME FREE ("For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" --John 3:17). Did you catch that? FREEDOM. Yes Jesus! I ask for your forgiveness and your FREEDOM!


So here goes nothing...still working out. Time to put the kibosh on eating for my own pleasure (just in time for the holidays...grreeeeeaaaaatttt). Remember, when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. So I will call on the one who came to help me--my freedom-giver, MY SAVIOR...



Jesus.


I changed my song of the day. I am going to recommend that you listen to "Captivated" by Shawn McDonald. WOW! When I hear this song, I want NOTHING MORE than to be forever captivated by the God who adores ME. Now THAT is something...

This post was partially inspired by Carly over at Random Nuggets, for now. Here beautiful, honest look at life is moving and fantastic :) I invite you ALL over to her little blog!