I'll Be Home For Christmas, If Only In My Dreams

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I just finished with my usual Christmas Eve. Goodness, that sounds so dull! Sigh and hooray: I just finished with my usual Christmas Eve!!! Christmas is definitely a time for remembering and appreciating traditions and Christmas Eve has always been a tradition for my family and I.

The day begins with much excitement, knowing that tomorrow is Christmas (it's practically here!). As I get older, the excitement becomes displaced with the feeling of disbelief: How is it already Christmas so soon? I felt like last years Christmas was yesterday, the memories of the past practically coinciding with the memories I am in the process of making. Weird.

On this day, my siblings and I watched "I'll Be Home for Christmas," starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas ♥♥♥♥♥ :) I dressed for the day and began working on my Christmas gifts. Two factors have been confounding with my gift-giving this year: (1) I have been entertaining people since the day I got home for break, and I have not had very much time to put gifts together, and (2) I have $46 in the bank...uhhhh....

We usually go to church, but since my dad and brother did not make it back in time, we did not go. So I helped my mom get ready for company and prep all sorts of wonderful food.


Every year, there is a family that spends Christmas Eve with us. This year, their father and husband passed away and this is the first season spent without him :( We took time to remember thing we will miss about him. But the evening was spent in good company, laughing at many stories and looking back on the year.

Near the end of the night we watch "It's A Wonderful Life." We watch it once a year on Christmas Eve, and I know most of the movie by heart. I love that movie :) I would love the opportunity to see what life would have been like had I not been here.

And now, mom and dad stay up ridiculously late doing all of the wrapping last minute. I am tired, but so excited to know that when I wake up in the morning, presents will be under our tree and we will spend a quiet morning together opening gifts as tokens of love in remembrance of what this season is all about. Let's not forget that.


Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a goodnight.

WAIT!! Can't forget my song of the day! Let's go with an excellent version of one of my favorites: "Grown-Up Christmas List" by Michael Bublé. Beautiful. Let's all have God's heart for the world.

Tonight, Yes Tonight...

I'm going to The Way at 7:30 with Annie.

I ate toast with butter and jelly for dinner.

I have a phone again.

I will be HOME IN ONE WEEK!!

It is freezing.

It is supposed to start snowing tonight and through the weekend.

I am missing my little brother's basketball game :(

I am done with my retail rotation.

I am contemplating how intimidating my height REALLY is to the opposite sex.

I am exhausted.

I tied up some loose ends with the car accident and the insurance.

I am feeling mildly productive, despite my exhaustion.

I want hot tea.

I LOVE UGG BOOTS.

I was watching Serendipity.

I have no idea what I am going to do with leftover prime rib in my refrigerator.

I planning on a fun-filled tomorrow--Cookie Swap Party!!

I think I have lost 6 pounds since Thanksgiving (so much for yesterday's vent, haha).

I am falling in love with this guy Jesus.

I got to talk to my daddy :)

I am listening to the song of the day, "Fallin' for You" by Colbie Caillat.

I wish more people would read my blog!!

I am thinking that three layers may not be warm enough.

♥

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Japanese Woodblocks and Freedom, Sweet Freedom

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Did you know that Wikipedia features a "Picture of the Day" ?? Today's picture is "a detail from a Japanese woodblock print of Zhong Kui, a Chinese mythological figure traditionally regarded as vanquisher of ghosts and demons. His image is often painted on household gates as a guardian spirit, as well as in places of business where high-value goods are involved. According to folklore, Zhong Kui was a man who committed suicide after he was stripped of the title "zhuangyuan" (having achieved top honors in the imperial examinations) by the emperor of China because of his disfigured appearance, after which he became king of ghosts in Hell" (wikipedia.org).

There's your history lesson for the day...

In other news...if I could, I would strangle myself. No, not literally...geez...

But seriously, what is it about my self-control that empowers me to wake up Monday through Friday at 5:30 and get to the gym (as I have been for the last 4 weeks) to be working my BUTT off (quite literally, thank you) and yet caves when it comes to controlling what I eat?? Is that the most RIDICULOUS thing ever!!?? I feel like I can sympathize with Paul from the Bible. Check this out!! It's TOTALLY how I feel:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I deligt in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Romans 7:15-25 (under the heading Struggling With Sin, which is perfect)

Allow me to expose myself and paraphrase, as this verse is relevant to my life (the Bible is relevant and applicable today!!):

I do not understand myself (haha, no difference there!). I want to lose weight--30-ish pounds, to be inexact--but I do not discipline myself to do it; instead, I eat too much food, indluge myself unnecessarily, and effectively negate my hard morning's workout. My unhappiness because of this defeat within myself is proof that this is absolutely NOT the life God planned for me. But I am overcome by my sin nature, which is my desire and belief that I am entitled to have what I want, when I want it, immediately; to be a slave to temporary pleasure so petty "it tastes good" or "feed my hunger" urges consume me. There is NOTHING GOOD in this thinking because I have the DESIRE to lose this weight, but I cannot do it. I do not practice self-control, which is what I want to do, but don't. It is my sin nature that overcomes my own desire to be done with this battle; the person that I am created to be becomes lost in sin's ugly shadows.

So here is how the battle will go down: when I want to lose weight (practice self-control), evil will be RIGHT THERE WITH ME. In the quietest places of my heart, I delight myself in God's laws, which are filled with promises of love, life, and joy! But there are other laws at work within my body, that wage war on my MIND (lauging at my effort, reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed, telling me I'll never win) and these lies make me a prisoner of these habits. What a wretched woman I am (no change there either)! Who will rescue me from this body, from this endless circle I have run myself into, from the lies that so easily trip me up?

THANKS BE TO GOD--THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD! (There is definitely no change there).

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Disclaimer: I am absolutely, 100% NOT saying that eating food is bad, or that enjoying the pleasures of eating is bad (God MADE it to be a pleasure-FULL experience). BUT, when we are jeopardizing our health by eating too much leading to weight gain, we are no longer living the life God intended. When we go to bed DREAMING of all the ways in which we will lose weight; when we spend our waking hours IDOLIZING the figure we want to have and the attention we want to receive; when we truly come to believe that THIS will be our key to happiness...



THEN, we have a problem.



This, dear friends, is the broken ground on which you have found me. So I really do need your prayers and your support. May I place my desires for beauty on God's altar, that he may mold my character into who he created me to be. May I repent of my sin at the cross, where he died TO SET ME FREE ("For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" --John 3:17). Did you catch that? FREEDOM. Yes Jesus! I ask for your forgiveness and your FREEDOM!


So here goes nothing...still working out. Time to put the kibosh on eating for my own pleasure (just in time for the holidays...grreeeeeaaaaatttt). Remember, when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. So I will call on the one who came to help me--my freedom-giver, MY SAVIOR...



Jesus.


I changed my song of the day. I am going to recommend that you listen to "Captivated" by Shawn McDonald. WOW! When I hear this song, I want NOTHING MORE than to be forever captivated by the God who adores ME. Now THAT is something...

This post was partially inspired by Carly over at Random Nuggets, for now. Here beautiful, honest look at life is moving and fantastic :) I invite you ALL over to her little blog!

It's Monday Folks!

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No class today means that I had a 3 day weekend...lovely :) Now there are some things we need to discuss!

Like how I am presently sitting in one of my favorite food establishments, Starbucks, and catching up on life! It's not the food PER SAY that makes this place a favorite, but it is more of the atmosphere--the blusey/jazzy/soft rock-y music that flows out of the speakers; the soft lighting and the tables and couches; the smorgasbord of people sipping hot, overpriced drinks and reading or studying. I find the white noise very relaxing and enjoyable. In college, the Starbucks on Malibu Road was my haven for studying and meeting the most interesting people--Like British brothers Thom and Phil who were in the States training to be kickers in the NFL!!

We also need to discuss my love affair with music. This is something I am going to add to my blog, thanks to the beautiful Carly over at Random Nuggest, for now. She adds a "Song of the Day" to the bottom of each of her posts. I intend to do the same, because music threads the pieces of my soul together. Wouldn't you like to know what is making me tick??

Lastly, I am going to add another kind of series to my blog about what I learn in church on Sundays. I am going to call it SoulFood Sundays. Why, you ask? Well, I am currently attending this AWESOME church in Beaverton called Solid Rock (church life has been one of the best parts of my move up here--people are so PASSIONATE about their relationship with Jesus!) Everytime I go, God moves so much in my soul that I have cried most times that I have gone (good crying, I promise). I always think of my friends, and how so many of them would be REFRESHED by hearing what I hear. But wait, you can! I am going to add this to my Sunday blogs--may your souls be refreshed my friends. Our God is good!

O, so my song of the day!! Can't forget, haha :) I think for today, I will direct you all to "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" by Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright. I first heard this song on the trailer for a new Nicholas Sparks movie coming out in February called Dear John. Check it out--it looks SO GOOD!

Engagement!!!

Well friends, I cannot believe how much has happened in my life in the last couple of weeks. See? This is why one should always be blogging!! So much has happened, it would be ridiculous to try and squeeze it all into one little blog. So I'll skip to the most important one, which happened today (or yesterday, technically).

MY BEST BUD, TREVOR, GOT ENGAGED TO HIS BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND, ALI!!!!!!!

I am so elated for both of them! I remember the day that Trevor called me, sophomore year of college, and said, "Brittany, guess what? I met a girl...." And the rest, as they say, is history :)

More details to come, but for now, I am back online, and so ecstatic for my best friend. Congratulations buddy!!